On Irony

Her:
I wanted to send you a message but your profile is just so ironic I didn't know where to start. So here goes nothin'!

Him:
How's it fuckin ironic? And what's ironic about it?
This aint no something that's just a show, this is real life! And we're all characters in each other's story, and durin something just to do it is dumb. The story my friend is life and you do it... to it. Penis lick. That's what I say.
If it makes you feel good do it.
Pancakes are good. I touch myself way too much when Im thinking of you.
I don't dance as much as I should.
Just dance, always dance. Being naked is awesome.
Facebook status update: "Good things are awesome! Bad things suck! :("
Everything poops and birds are awesome.
Getting dog hairs in my mouth doesn't even bother me... Just get it.
Weiner weiner weiner weiner weiner weiner weiner weiner weiner weiner weiner!
Once I ate some dum dum pops and then ate some smarties to balance it out.
Fuck your backwards baseball cap you douche!
Milky milky milky milky milky milky milky milky milky milky milky milky milk milky milky waaaaaaaaaaaaaaay! It is what you think it is that is what it could be. Reach that fuckin potential! God!
Never again you dang flip flaps!
"Why is there never any fuckin' beer?"
Real is real is real. I'm the realest. Remember, who cares how you spell cucumber?
An old man turned ninety-eight. He won the lottery and died the next day.
Now that's ironic...

Her:
Still trying to figure out how to respond to a message like this. Hmmm. I imagine it just would straight up scare off most ladies..

The Use of Superlatives

Him:

Awww man! You won of the mostest beautifulest womens I'd seen up here yet! You way hotter than my momma's friends back home!

Her:

you look kinda familiar

Him:

Oh no, hells no! You don't know me unless you have me mistaken for someone else... Then it might be possible I'll be familiar to you.
I give myself pony tails for fun!

Going Global

Her:

:)

Him:

Oh god. You make me feel all tingly like!
And the way you smile...
You need s'more pictures gal! A purdy face like don't need to be no hidin'.
By the way I love s'mores.
Oh goddamn. Denver? Well fuck.
Will you marry me because?

Her:

awww <3

I know, I know. I just joined this thing, I will add more.

s'mores are delicious. lets make some?

denver for nowww, who knows, ya know?

ok, why not.

Him:

So i hear it's legal in denver. By IT i mean riding horses. If you have horse that is. I was there once. Went and saw a The Band tribute with a bunch of hippies.
OK, so BIG question, besides the one which I asked you to marry me (which you said yes and Im going to hold you to it), why's a fine thing like you on a dating site?
What's going on in Denver to warrant that, or not going on?
I don't really actually dig s'mores. I dont like chocolate. They say it's an afrodidimack, but I've eaten plenty of chocolate and never made me want to make it with a chick. I just think aw this is some tastey shit that's going to make my spit brown later. I even tried it at the same time. Nuthin'.

Her:

It totally is legal, and enjoyed by all. Oh, horses to. I had a horse up until a year ago, I love them.

You better hold me to it, promise you will, ok? I am on this site out of sheer boredom and curiosity. My friend got me hooked on the quiz/test things, it's fun. I have never met anyone off of this site. Denver is great, but it's still fun to play around on here.

I like dark chocolate, but the milk chocolate kind of tastes gross. I don't like it very much. I love toasty graham crackers though, I think they make s'mores good.

we don't have to eat chocolate, pretty sure I'd still want you.